I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
