so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
