the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I need to align my fucking chakras
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
