i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
