Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
