absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize