So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
