17 year olds will be the death of me.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
