Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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