Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize