dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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