i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
