Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize