Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
