mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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