He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
