my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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