we have pet lesbian snakes
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize