I am puke
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
