so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
