Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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