When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
