My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
