yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
