I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
