How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
