YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
