he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
