My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
