The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize