In the future we'll all be gay
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
