we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
