Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
