my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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