This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
