I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Randomize