we have officially lost it.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
