lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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