Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
