That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
zippers are such a cool invention
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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