I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
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