thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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