Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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