sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
