I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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