I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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