Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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