I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
