Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
