i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize