I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
