Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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