we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
