Dual....:-)
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
