We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize