he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
