i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
