Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
