I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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