You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he fucked my hip out of place.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
