I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
