Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
