At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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